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Whenever someone tells me they have an 18 year old stepson https://t.co/dKslvA3HvT

How your email finds me https://t.co/rqff1SY5n9

2 pic. Whenever this guy is in a movie, someone is about to get fucked ALL the way up https://t.co/cgAfQD7KRo

Hi. I’m 34 today https://t.co/w8aWeIXSr3

I saw this flyer and I’m blessing you with the ability to see it too https://t.co/VGytweMMqg

2 pic. When the instructions say microwave on high for 3 to 4 minutes, stir, and re-cover and then cook for an additional 1 to 2 minutes https://t.co/Pkg8wqqRMW

1 pic. Excited for anal / Prepping for anal https://t.co/kUjpbhPJyC

1 pic. A rainbow shirt in target won't turn your kids gay but Tia Carrere as Cassandra in Wayne’s World will https://t.co/HUuS6DqPTT

Quarantine day 15,748: https://t.co/OVzwufz12A

When you take more than 1 free sample https://t.co/BEtzQsLCA6

I love Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly https://t.co/bd8mHUqDaj

1 pic. When the instructions say microwave on high for 3 to 4 minutes, stir, and re-cover and then cook for an additional 1 to 2 minutes https://t.co/Pkg8wqqRMW

Merry Xmas, I’m sorry https://t.co/S6KMzS8JaI

Haunted houses are getting more and more elaborate every year https://t.co/7lyo2Hx0xe

Dollaritas are back at Applebees https://t.co/h44SdItfu2

2 pic. A rainbow shirt in target won't turn your kids gay but Tia Carrere as Cassandra in Wayne’s World will https://t.co/HUuS6DqPTT

OH SHIT OH FUCK https://t.co/TZHfp7hXHv

Intrusive thoughts when everything in life is going well https://t.co/O4jPd3a5m3

1 pic. Remember, no matter how lonely and isolated you may feel—you’re NEVER alone (we all have hundreds to thousands of eight-legged arachnids called Demodex mites that live in our eyebrow and eyelash follicles) https://t.co/u4r6GKJZnv

I’ve had 27 gummy bears shoved up my ass before https://t.co/5UuOzA3WU8